Memorial Service

A memorial service was held three days ago for the passing
of Twenty-Ten, a year all will hopefully not remember. At the
service the Reverend Al Sharpton was quoted by saying “2010 WHERE
THE FUCK ARE THE HOVER CRAFTS?” Agreed Reverend. The service
concluded after the University of Pittsburgh’s new coach got into a
fist fight with Twenty-Ten’s mother. He was quickly ejected from
the funeral and Pittsburgh. I have never been much for resolutions,
but this year I wrote some down in a little tree covered notepad a
friend Christmas-gifted me and then burned it in a fit of arousal.
(I don’t understand me either.) As I believe New Year’s
resolutions are like wishes you get from shooting stars and
birthday candles, I will not be telling you mine. I hope you, the
reader, made a couple resolutions for yourself, and no I don’t care
to know what they are. Here’s to 2011. Give us one good month and
you will officially be the best year ever and we won’t have to bury
you deeply within our subconscious filed under “WTF” like your
douche bag older brother! (That was a threat.) Yes, that was a
threat. As always have a great week if you’re living in
Pittsburgh, Erie, Edinboro, Charleston South Carolina,
Houston Texas, or New Orleans, everywhere else I’ll get you
next time. Have a happy Chinese New Year.

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